Feeling low, slow, craving blow? Need a boost but don’t want to reach for that that cocaine straw? Don’t worry, Wacaco has your other addiction – coffee – covered. Meet “minipresso“, a hand-powered, go-anywhere espresso machine. No compressed air, no nitrous oxide cartridges (no nitrous?! oh maaan), no electricity required. It just takes some dark ground-up yumminess, hot water, and some loving squeezes with your hand to pick yourself up off the floor and feel like a quarter-of-a-million bucks again.

Aside from the fact that this little David of an espresso machine does not require any refill parts of any kind and works anywhere, so long as you have a way to create hot water and manually pump the thing (a hand or a foot or someone else’s hand or foot or a butt), the device is incredibly portable and packable and self-contained. Everything is built-in and serves at least one purpose: The scoop to measure out the grounds also serves as a tool to tamp the grounds down prior to espresso extraction; the enclosure cap on one end also functions as your espresso cup. Speaking of self-contained, the pump locks down into place and out of the way when not in use. Take the “minipresso” traveling, camping, you name it, just stop by a convenience store for the hot water or use your campfire to boil some.

Vendor product photo.

What’s more, the parts are extremely accessible. The tank for the hot water comes out for ease of filling, the receptacle for the coffee grounds the same. All for a device that’s the size of a small, slim thermos at less than 7″ tall with a weight of less than 1lb. All-in-all, it’s a very slick and streamlined design which still generates 116 psi of pressure to get the job done. Take that, you Goliath coffee-shop espresso machines, all metal and angles.

As-is, the “minipresso” water tank holds 2.35oz of water for your 1.7 US fluid oz shot. A larger 4.60oz water tank for a lighter-strength dose is optional and can be ordered separately. The device works with ground coffee or capsules, so choose the model that suits your needs. Wacaco is accepting pre-orders now until December 31st for delivery no later than March of next year.

When the “minipresso” arrives, ditch the mirror and kick that blow to the curb; pack that coffee in, fill the tank, reassemble the device, pump it a few times to build up pressure, and then pump again to pour: 13 times for ristretto, 18 for espresso, 28 for a double. We say DOUBLE-UP, you high-flyer, you!

Stressed? Drop the stress ball, prepare yourself another shot, and squeeze the s@#$ outta that thing instead. Besides, the delicious result will calm you down. We promise.